On June 1st I had the privilege to relocate my modeling mother Rochelle, she’s always been present to assist me on remaining in view of various artists & directors around Milwaukee for my career. The least thing I could do was donate my time to upgrade her from her old place to her new studio apartment. Little did I know, I would be paid in invaluable experiences I use to this day, the majority of lessons consisted of our purpose in discovering the roots to your own family tree. Let me highlight my most memorable parts that I took away from that day.

In the morning I got to meet a Shih Tzu Rochelle rescued named Scrappy, I could tell from our initial walk together, despite Scrappy’s history with his previous owner that he was a survivor. Bernard Jones from the “Cancer Awareness Fashion Show”, passed by Scrappy and I to say hello on his way to work near Wisconsin Avenue. It was a pleasant surprise to see Bernard, as Scrappy stood by peeing on the sidewalk glaring at police outside their HQ. Once I returned from my dog walk around the block, we had a brisk breakfast from Dunkin Donuts as the moving crew watched the news reports of riots taking place in Chicago, regarding the beginning uproar of the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement.

Angel, the grade A mover was there to assist as well as Rochelle’s brother Malone Lamar Ramerro, I just recently met. We loaded all the boxes into a rented U-haul truck and left nothing behind besides a mattress on our way to the new place. After all our squats back and forth with no gym membership needed, Angel and I had a good conversation about family lessons I mentioned above. He filled me in on what it means to grow up with a sibling, I was interested in his input since I was the only child in my upbringing. Angel told me how much he admires his brother even though the feeling isn’t mutual, they’d butt heads constantly yet Angel’s heart was bigger because he forgave him, this still did not stop the issue. Ro and I were attempting to invoke confidence in Angel by standing up to him like a lion, but he wouldn’t bite. I learned afterwards that considering his unconditional caring heart and Angel’s speedy actions while we moved Rochelle, he replicated more of the spirit of the Cheetah. As much as he wanted to perceive himself as the king of the jungle, it turns out it was his overpowering brother that was the spirit animal of a lion. Because as a younger loving brother, he always looked up to him no matter what, but in doing so unfortunately made him overlook his own potential. For the ones who feel the same way, have a loving and forgiving heart, but don’t allow others to take advantage of your sensitive and gifted soul.

Finally, we turned into Rochelle’s new parking lot and glanced up at the sky to see what looked to be a twelve story white hotel. I was easily impressed with her upgraded home sweet home. Getting down to business, Angel and I hopped to it and proceeded to load any boxes on the elevator to get to the ninth floor. But I may or may not have bounced on the elevator one too many times to the point that it dropped a couple feet and I remained stuck in there for fifteen minutes straight. The emergency nor any of the numerical buttons worked, so I called Rochelle in the hopes that she didn’t think I was M.I.A slacking. Now officially being trapped alone, I told her to “Please send help or this might turn into a Final Destination scene!”. Maintenance then made their way up, pried the doors open, and helped me up from in between two levels. Without further ado after my rescue, I ran down the many flights of stairs because I was untrusting of the elevator, and met Angel in the lobby just so he could say “Where were you? I already finished unloading while you were taking your nap!”. Thanks to Rochelle for always picking me up when I’m down, she treated us two to a place she loves called Mad Chicken in her suite after completing a long eventful moving day. This restaurant’s soul food was so tasty, that Angel ended up blessing them by later applying there and getting the job!

My former general manager, Todd Marshall at Hope Center reached out to me on the 3rd of June. He wanted me to come back the following week to fix up breakfast and lunch with my uncle Michael Coltrane, like old times before Covid! I’d been holding off on my job by giving a hand down lately in the kitchen because Covid-19 was fairly unpredictable in its state of mutation. The pandemic globally struck fear in the hearts of many, people didn’t feel that sense of security we were used to since the world has abruptly changed us forever. Even the Cardinal within me had to adapt and reroute any plans in the future, now that I was psychologically living a double life as a servant by day and an artist at night.

BlueJay was one month away from soaring to New York for a second visit this year, anticipating to be trained by the industry professionals at the “New York Conservatory Dramatic Arts”. I auditioned for a tuition when I returned from iPop LA in July of 2019, my cheat was that I used my Hollywood approved Adult Winning Monologue to score a position in an intensive acting training camp for twenty-six days in NYCDA. But once I would arrive in Manhattan, I didn’t want to overuse my certified monologue too much. Keeping in mind I was spending $3,190 for a challenge and some training, so I figured I would begin preparing a new monologue to wow the judges with. Referenced from the classic movie “Clueless”, I’d play a silly one minute bit of a student named Travis accepting a reward for the class’s most tardies, which was originally performed by Breckin Meyer. Let me tell you that I practiced this monologue wherever I could’ve like doing push ups, taking a walk, or in the car, while meditating, even until my dreams consisted of me envisioning the scene in that classroom receiving this humiliating reward with pride.

One of those mediations piloted me to some space within the confines of my mind on a Saturday. There I relaxed deeper and deeper, finding myself approached by a familiar figure that seemed so close yet so far away from me. It was I, in the future. I looked different from what my body appeared currently, my torso was brawny instead of scrawny, and my legs weren’t as athletic as they could be but I felt that they were more flexible. Speechless as I let my higher self speak to me as he snickered at any problems I faced at the time, since my trials were his tribulations. This specimen had the capacity to verbally communicate with me on an elevated level, capable of eloquently expressing sensations to my heart and soul wordlessly as I was in this present moment. I knew this version of me was advanced and I didn’t want to ruin my path to achieve what he had, so he did not enlighten me on how he was able to align with this superior connection we shared. “Just have faith”, before anything else, Jay faded away as such a winged creature would be passing through clouds, he was a messenger sent for us built just like a bird.